The Power of Confidence: Don't Be a "Where's My Hug At?" Guy

Don’t be a "where’s my hug at?" guy. If this is the closest you’ve been getting to female contact, you need to up your game beyond what a passport can do for you. I watched a TED Talk a couple of years ago by Harvard professor Amy Cuddy, where she talked about the importance of feeling like you are what you aim to become. The key phrase in the talk was:

"Don't fake it until you make it. Fake it until you become it."

This is something you can start to do today. I highly recommend watching the video if you get a chance, because it was transformative for me.

The Science of Confidence

This shit is actually backed by science. It’s known as embodied cognition, which essentially says that our body language not only reflects our emotions but can also shape them. Research even shows that adopting "power poses" for just two minutes can increase testosterone levels by 20% and decrease cortisol (stress hormone) levels by 25%. Being an incel is literally bad for your health. Don’t let that shit slide. Not saying any of you are, but there’s definitely a lot of that incel vibe going around these days in general.

Often, those who succeed aren't necessarily more intelligent or privy to some secret formula. Their success stems from an unwavering belief in themselves, which radiates to those around them. This isn’t just about women either. For example, studies have shown that confident individuals are:

• 40% more likely to receive promotions

• Perceived as 58% more competent by their peers

• 24% more likely to succeed in social situations

Even if being confident doesn’t help you with the ladies, do that shit because it’ll help you earn more. Bruh, hating on women will literally cost you.

A Real-Life Example

Back in college, I knew a fraternity brother – let's call him John – who was a 5'4" - 5'6" skinny average-looking Hispanic guy. Despite his stature, John was one of the most successful guys I knew when it came to women. Why? His unwavering confidence. If you were near him, it’d be common to hear “Omg, John!” from a slew of sorority girls rushing to hug him. You might think he was living in the friend zone, but it was quite the contrary. Homie was making them cheeks clap.

Confidence Across Cultures

Having traveled to several countries, I've observed that despite cultural differences, confidence is universally attractive. A study across 48 countries found that self-confidence was consistently rated as one of the top three most desirable traits in a potential partner.

Actionable Steps to Boost Confidence

1. Posture Up: Stand straight, push your shoulders back, open up your chest, chin out.

2. Positive Self-Talk: Tell yourself that you are the man. Believe that.

3. Set and Achieve Small Goals: Accomplish shit and build confidence in your ability to do shit.

4. Dress Well: Look like the man you know yourself to be. Studies show that formal clothing can increase abstract thinking and feelings of power. Aka, swag.

5. Learn a New Skill: Competence breeds confidence. Learn things. Growth mindset and all.

Conclusion

Don't wait for that passport stamp to become confident. Embody the confidence you aspire to have right now. Remember:

• If she's not your type, don't swipe right.

• If she doesn't hug you when you meet, don't ask for one.

• If she doesn't text back, don't keep texting.

You are the man now, not just when you land in some exotic destination. Carry that big dick energy with you everywhere you go, like you’re Mandingo or Johnny Sins. Confidence is your passport to success, no matter where you are in the world.

Alrighty, homies, that’s all I have for you this week.