Becoming a Passport Bro (Part 2): Meeting Bros "Apes Together Strong"

Alright, bros, I know you're craving a deep dive into game and all things cheek-clapping related, but this is going to be another one of those preparation posts. I want you to succeed, so before I teach you how to drive the car, I’m going to teach you about seatbelts and why they are important. There’s that famous saying by Françoise Sagan that goes like, "Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Lambo than on a bus." Reading comments from several aspiring Passport Bros, it seems like a lot of these men would choose women over most things that could sustain or elevate their happiness, such as community.

If the Lambo is women and the bus is a strong friend group in this context, don’t. Obviously, you are likely not going abroad to meet other men, but it doesn’t have to be this binary choice. Yes, I will concede that if your aim is to clap cheeks, find love, etc., and someone puts a gun to your head and makes you choose between finding a girl and making a new guy friend, then go with the girl. Fortunately, for the vast majority of you, you don’t have to choose. Let’s dive in:

Don’t trade one problem for another:

If you’re back home and you have a solid community of friends around you, but maybe you’re lacking attention from females, you don’t want to go to a new location and just be with women and find yourself lacking community. That, my friend, is an exchange of problems. Making other friends in whichever location you’re going to will make this life more sustainable and allow you to truly live your best life. Personally, I’m a combination of an extrovert and introvert. I enjoy being by myself and don’t constantly crave social interactions, but you put me in a room of people, and I can befriend most of them. However, I like having the option of hanging out with the bros when needed.

The key thing to making friends abroad is that you want to avoid doing things that tourists/travelers/vacationers are doing. Think about it, wherever you’re living now, are you doing all the touristy things often? The answer is likely not.

Why you should make friends locally:

1. Insight: Having people who know the lay of the land allows you to gain valuable insight on the do’s and don’ts of a place. This can help you find cheap accommodation and stay away from the girl with the crazy ex who may take his anger out on you. I’m not kidding; on the very same street I used to live on when I was staying in Poznan, Poland, a man went to a restaurant to shoot his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend before taking his own life. You can read the story here: Source.

2. Apes Together Strong: If there is a group of girls and you are solo, you are encountering probabilities that are not in your favor if you intend to talk to someone in the group. However, if you’re approaching them with friends, then the odds become more favorable. It’s more likely than not that you’ll see women with their friends when they are out. Having homies with you allows you to reduce the risk that the friend is going to get bored and drag the girl you want away.

3. Having Homies is Great: This isn’t part of some strategy, but just a simple fact. It’s great to have other male friends. Whether it’s to talk about sports, girls, politics, etc., having friends to hang out with is a healthy part of maintaining strong mental health, assuming they are a good influence.

4. Support: I’ve had friends help me move when I was switching apartments, let me crash on their couch when I was traveling to a neighboring city they were in, and much more.

5. Travel: If you’re in areas such as Europe, Asia, or even South America, it’s common to do weekend trips to other countries. It’s amazing when you can split the cost of an Airbnb with the homies, alcohol, food, etc.

How to make friends:

1. Gym: I mentioned earlier that you want to do things that someone who is staying somewhere long-term would do. The gym is absolutely one of them. When you see someone regularly at the gym, you should just approach them and be like, “What’s up, man, I see you here all the time, I just got here.”

2. Patience: With the exceptions of clubs and bars, have a bit of patience when you see women somewhere. I can’t tell you the number of times I was thinking about talking to a girl and exercised a bit of patience before seeing her foreign boyfriend pull up to her. Befriend the bro, before the girl. Nothing will make a guy cross you off their list faster than the knowledge that you tried to talk to their girl. This may not matter as much if you’re just doing a quick trip somewhere, but if you are staying long-term, don’t make enemies.

3. Partying: I’ll admit, I don’t really have the energy to just go out by myself to party anymore. I can do it, I just don’t really want to. I really only enjoy going out if I’m going out with friends. However, when I am out with the homies, I’ll approach other guys to say “What’s up” and most people are receptive.

4. The nod (for the black brothers): If you’re black, you already know about this, but it works well overseas. Some of the closest friends I’ve met overseas were from the nod. More likely than not, we are amongst the few black men in whichever location we’re at. We nod at each other, and the conversation just flows from there. I understand this is a life hack that may not be available to all. However, the black guys that I’ve met overseas are very open and receptive, so even if you’re not black you should totally approach us.

5. Message them: Honestly, if you see someone around often enough and you see them on social media, just message them: “Yo, what’s up, I keep seeing you around in the city. I don’t know too many people around here, let’s link up sometime!” One of my good friends that I know, I actually met because he messaged me on Instagram after hearing about me.

There’s so much more to write about on this topic, but I will dive deeper in future posts. I’ve had complaints that some of my posts are too long (try reading a book, just kidding), so I want to keep it as bite-sized as possible. Alrighty, homies, that’s all I have for you this week.